Adrenaline

I'd forgotten how much of a kick adrenaline could be. I've not had a decent fight for ages yet after one friendly wrestling match with a mate (for the price of fifty pence to each of us for the two female and one male spectators) I feel so much better. I didn't even realise that I'd been bottling up this need for violence until I let it out just now.

Its something I just can't explain, but the aches and ains of the fight, the bruises I'm sure are gonna show tomorrow, and the chance to just cut loose (admittedly within certain limits) without worrying about the other person have done me a word of good. Even though I lost I feel as though something is sated, at least partially, that hasn't been fed for a long time. It kinda scares me.

Tomorrow, in fact tonight, I'm gonna start training again. Fitness, general stamina and strength. I need to get back into proper shape again. I need to quit smoking, start eating healthily again, and lose the stomach that depresses me every time I look at it.

Mainly this entry is for me rather than anyone else, to remind me how I feel at the moment, and make sure I stick to it.